I just got off the phone with my oldest son Trey (He’s the one with the red tie). He has been going through some relationship issues with a precious young lady who just can’t seem to get her head straight… sweet as she is. Over the course of two years they have broken up and gotten back together several times. Each time she was the one ending the relationship and then my son taking her back.
The last time they broke up I said to him, “You have to make a decision. Either your accept the fact that this will be your life for the next 40 or so years or you make a change. The decision is yours and I will always love and support you, but you will have to live with the decision you make.”
It was after their most recent break up that he wrote a prayer letter to God about his future wife (Click here to read it). I thought to myself that this may be the final time… but I also know how young people can change.
Trey began our phone call today with… “Dad, I’ve been talking to her for a couple of weeks but just hear me out…” (I thought, “Here it comes… they’re back together again…” But I was wrong.)
My son told me that he couldn’t continue seeing or talking to her. He told me he ended the relationship for good… and felt bad that he left her “crying her eyes out.” He told me he felt bad he couldn’t do anything to make it better for her, but he had to do what was best for Him. (Pause) I was proud that he was able to make that decision… as hard as it was.
Parental Encouragement (The purpose of this post): When it comes to our kids… we do our best to teach and train them to be wise and follow God. We pray for them and impart as much wisdom to them as we can. But the time will come when THEY are the ones that have to put it all into practice…
It is then that as parents we have to step back and not fix things for them… regardless of what they do or the decisions they make. We are still there, ready to help in whatever way necessary… but it is a mistake to always come to their rescue. It is sometimes best not to say anything or impart further wisdom in the moment but let them spread their wings and sometimes fall to the ground.
Does it hurt us? Yes it does… tremendously. Do we weep for them? Yes… more than they know. Is it hard to keep quiet and not get involved? YES.
But then they get it right. They do what they should (As best we can tell). They grow… mature… and become adults. And then we thank God for what He is doing in them to make them more like Christ.