rm-onlyI may be the only one, but does anyone else wonder if they are genuinely saved? Two nights ago, for some reason, I battled (Not a cliche!) over whether or not I was truly, really, and genuinely saved. For a little while my questions, thoughts, and doubts caused me severe and great anxiety that I could not overcome. I eventually had to accept that it was in God’s hands and were I to breathe my last that night….

I’m sure Judas thought he was saved (He wasn’t), and one day may argue his case to God Himself! Simon thought he was saved because he believed and was baptized, but he wasn’t! It could have been because of these type things that Paul wrote in 2 Corinthians 13:5…

Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

Ok Paul… now, what is “THE TEST?” That was the question I sought to work through when I DID wake the next morning. Do I pass ‘the test?” Is “the test” like those I took in school… ONE test with MULTIPLE questions. I settled on the “one test with multiple questions” definition. So here is the examination, the test if you will, that I’m working through. This is MY test… MY process…

First, (Copied): What do my mind and heart naturally gravitate toward when I have nothing to do or think about (Mt 6:21; Pr 3:27a {KJV})? Do I naturally think about God… Scripture… Jesus… the Spiritual disciplines of love, mercy, grace, godliness, holiness, etc…?

Second: Do I have a longing to fellowship with God? Do I enjoy reading Scripture to know Him better? Do I find joy in worship of God? Were I not saved these things would not be present in my life.

Third: Am I troubled by sin? Is my heart troubled by sin in my own life and am I troubled in heart when I observe sin in the world or others because it wounds God and destroys others? Do I battle against sin relying on God for help? Galatians 5:24

Fourth: Am I growing in the gift (Singular!) of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23; 2 Peter 1:8-a)? Am I MORE loving, MORE kind, MORE gracious, MORE forgiving (etc., {2 Peter 1:5-8}) today than I was 1… 3… 10 years ago… ACCORDING TO PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME BEST {Wife}?

Last (That I will write about): Am I drawn to seek God through prayer OFTEN and (!) for extended periods when I do pray? This is one of the best ways I measure the genuine nature of my God relationship.

Last #2 (Sorry!): Don’t overlook the fact that your doubt is a proof of conversion! If I were NOT saved, my lost condition would not matter to me one whit because lost people don’t care… know… comprehend… or understand their lostness (1 Cor 2:14; Eph 2:1, 5). So consider…

J. C. Ryle wrote in his book “Holiness” (Pg 25-26): Sanctification (Holiness, Spiritual formation, Salvation {RE}) is a thing which does not prevent a man having a great deal of inward spiritual conflict. By conflict I mean a struggle within the heart between the old nature and the new, the flesh and the spirit which are to be found together in every believer. (Gal 5:24-26). A deep sense of struggle, and a vast amount of mental discomfort from it, are no proof that a man is not sanctified. Nay, rather, I believe, they are healthy symptoms of our condition, and prove that we are not dead but alive. A true Christian is one who has not only peace of conscious but war within. HE MAY BE KNOWN BY HIS WARFARE AS WELL AS BY HIS PEACE.

This probably won’t mean too much to others, but for me they are of great comfort… WHICH IS YET ANOTHER PROOF OF MY SALVATION (Because were I not saved… none of the above would have happened or be true).