Q1: What are the most important things in the midst of conflict?
Pray for God to bring peace, healing, and restoration. After those things, make sure your conduct honors God and His word remembering nothing tests your obedience to Christ like conflict. If you would like contact me and I can help you with a process to follow regarding conflict.
Q2: What should be done when there is conflict among ministerial staff?
Pray for them to be reconciled. If appropriate, encourage the staff members toward forgiveness and repentance as found in Scripture.
Q3: What should be done about rumors regarding ministerial staff that is troubling?
Begin praying for unity and peace. Do not allow anyone to gossip in your presence. Do not allow anyone to slander a brother or sister in Christ in your presence. Determine that you will not talk about anyone, but you will talk to them if there is a problem. If the problem persists, contact me and I can help with a process to suggest to them for help in reconciling with each other.
Q4: When is it the right time to ask a minister to resign?
Never, without significant prayer and seeking God’s direction from Scripture.
Read the McKeever article about firing ministers.
If a congregation is to have a credible message of forgiveness, healing, and restoration, they must practice it within the congregation. When a congregation terminates ministers or pressures them to resign, they are in danger of ignoring the Scripture to love, forgive, heal, and restore. Thus there is the possibility a congregation can negate the message of the cross.
Unless it is proven (1 Tim 5:19) minister has had a moral failure of some kind, firing a minister should not be an option. First there must be significant attempts toward reconciliation, restoration, and healing. Asking a minister to resign or terminating him should be the absolutely last resort.
Q5: Who is responsible to keep peace in the congregation?
You are. Every person in a congregation is either part of the solution or part of the problem. You are to conduct yourself in a manner worthy of the Gospel (Phil 1:27). You keep the peace by not gossiping or allowing it in your presence. You keep the peace by building others up and speaking the truth in love.
Q6: Who do I believe when I hear conflicting accounts of a situation in church?
The way to discern who to believe is not difficult. Prayerfully observe and listen carefully as to who is:
Exemplifying love?
Being gracious?
Being merciful?
Being patient?
Attempting to understand others?
Working toward forgiveness and restoration?
Is passionate about building up rather than destroying others?
Conducting themselves in a manner worthy of The Gospel {Philippians 1:27}?
Seeking unity rather than being divisive (1 Cor 14:33)?
What you observe in others regarding these matters will direct you who to believe and support in a Christ honoring manner. Also, these are traits all should exemplify.
Q7: What should I do when a staff member offends me?
Forgive them. Forgiving them is part of talking with them face to face to come to an understanding about the need for repentance and restoration.
Q8: How do I know when or if it is time to go to another church?
After you have prayed about it extensively. A good indicator it may be time to leave is if and/or when staff and church leadership do not handle conflict in a manner honoring God and consistent with the Scripture about love, repentance, forgiveness, restoration, and compassion. Yet again, moving from one church to another should only be by God’s leadership.