In my experience one of the seemingly contradictory things about nearness to God is… The closer you ARE to God, the further away you’ll feel FROM Him.
I write that because the closer we get to God… the more holy we realize He is… the more clearly we recognize our own sin and unworthiness to be in His presence. Consider this as it occurred in three passages of Scripture…
Luke 5:8 Simon Peter saw it, he fell down at Jesus’ knees, saying, “Depart from me, for I am a sinful man, O Lord.
Mark 5:15 They came to Jesus and saw the demon-possessed man, the one who had had the legion, sitting there, clothed and in his right mind, and they were afraid. 16 And those who had seen it described to them what had happened to the demon-possessed man and to the pigs. 17 And they began to beg Jesus to depart from their region.
Isaiah 6:1 In the year that King Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne, high and lifted up; and the train of his robe filled the temple. 2 Above him stood the seraphim. Each had six wings: with two he covered his face, and with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. 3 And one called to another and said: “Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts; the whole earth is full of his glory!” 4 And the foundations of the thresholds shook at the voice of him who called, and the house was filled with smoke. 5 And I said: “Woe is me! For I am lost; for I am a man of unclean lips, and I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; for my eyes have seen the King, the Lord of hosts!”
In each case as people closely encountered the God of perfect power, love, and holiness… they realized how great their own sinfulness was and pleaded for an escape.
It may seem odd… but the closer you are to God, the further away you’ll feel from Him. Which makes the fact that such reprobate sinners are accepted by The Holy God that much more a reason to worship Him! The gap between God’s perfect holiness and our sinful state makes Him that much more wonderful that He ALLOWS us to “come boldly before His throne” (Hebrews 4:16).