There are times to be a disciplinarian and correct our kids. Then there are times that maybe we should chill a little as parents and not get so worked up. Discerning between the two is not easy. I think it interesting that right after Paul told children to obey and honor their parents because it is right (Ephesians 6:1-3), he wrote in verse 4… “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
Discipline and obedience are good and need to be taught to our children. At the same time each parent should/must be careful not to have a nuclear response to a firecracker incident. That is just as dangerous as no discipline and nuclear responses could drive our children both further from us and into rebellion. So consider when…
Your child doesn’t answer their cell phone when you called. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child didn’t do their homework and got a (1) zero. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child has a little bit of an attitude problem. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child isn’t majoring in what you think they should. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child wears black clothes and paints their fingernails to match. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child isn’t marrying the person you hoped they would. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child dyed their hair some aweful color? Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child doesn’t dress the way you think is proper. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child got A (1) tattoo that is covered by clothing. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child got their ear pierced in three places. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child came home late without calling you. Big deal… it could be worse!
Your child didn’t clean their room to your specifications. Big deal… it could be worse!
There are a lot of things we get worked up over that we shouldn’t. Why? It could be worse! How you ask? Well I think the picture above gives us something to think about. So remember… Always… IT COULD BE WORSE!
Oh… Amy, Trey, & Britton. Your mother and I are patient, loving, and forgiving… but don’t take advantage of our grace! We love all three of you. And one day when you have children you’ll begin to understand. You think we’re hard on you at times? Guess what… IT COULD BE WORSE! (Snicker, Wink)
Especially with school starting back…Thanks for the reminder. I’m also reminded of the phrase…Don’t sweat the small stuff.
(Edit from Pastor Ron. There was a small book I once read & the title was… “Don’t Sweat The Small Stuff… It’s All Small Stuff!” God bless you!)
Whew! The photo scared me. I thought you were going to say this is what Trey looked like when he returned from freshman orientation. Okay, I get it. It could be worse. Both of us should be thankful for the children whom God gave us. We are blessed.
Good evening Bro Ron,
I can see the point that you are making, but I must make a counter point. Sometimes our children will do things that they know we will think are outrageous just to try and get us to at least respond to them. Our children are often begging that we show them that we love them enough to give them limits. That is why it is a big deal. The hair is not the big deal, the clothes are not the big deal, the attitude is not the big deal; the big deal is that we show them that we love them. If a child is screaming for attention and the parent fails to respond, the child will conclude that the parent just does not love him or her. Words to the contrary will not counter the lack of love evidenced by the lack of limits. The relationship will usually continue to deteriorate until it is severed by one party or the other. Don’t sweat the small stuff; love is never the small stuff.
Much love to you and your family,
Kim
(Ron’s Reply Friday August 17, 2007)
I agree with much of what you said. Hopefully everyone realizes that the post was tongue in cheek. My point is that parents can have a nuclear response to firecracker events… and it is the parent’s call to discern and give a measured response as appropriate under God’s leadership that should always be motivated by Godly love. I see too many parents that go to one extreme or the other. Usually those in the church are so hard, demanding, and legalistic they drive their children from them (And God) by provoking them to anger (Thus the Ephesians 6 quote). When it comes to limits, obviously they are important… but relaxed as the child gets older. The law then becomes grace… which is much harder for the parent to operate under because freedom and liberty can be so easily abused. The BIGGEST DEAL for me is for us parents to shift our children’s dependance from us to God. If we don’t teach them properly and allow them room to grow by making mistakes and experiencing the consequences, they will become unthinking robots who are incapable of discerning true right from wrong. We all scream for attention… parents as much from their kids as kids from their parents. Parents are just better and more adept at using their “power” to get attention. Every person is saying by their actions… “Love me, hate me, just don’t ignore me!” Thank you for your insightful comment. We are on many points… as always… on the same page!
Ron