Christians are insensitive and thoughtless to tell people who are grieving… “It will be okay. God has a reason. Somehow you will understand this is God’s will. Romans 8:28!” I’ve been told that when I’m hurting, and heard people say it often to others. Every time I want to tell them to hush and not say it in a person’s moment of grief and pain
Take for example what a friend posted on facebook (Yes… I’m on it a little). A few months ago her husband… a Christian musician, relief worker, and speaker who was in his early 30s… had a stroke and died while at a speaking event. Here’s what his wife posted…
Please, no one else tell me “You’re young, you’ll be okay”! Losing (My husband) and becoming a widow at age 28 does NOT make it okay in any way. With as much love as I can summon, I ask you to PLEASE STOP TELLING ME THIS!
Another friend who had been married 28 years had her abusive husband leave her… stealing tens of thousands of dollars… refused to help with expenses for the kids… and was a substance abuser. One night she called and told me, “If one more Christian tells me, ‘God causes all things for good’ or ‘Things will get better,’ I’m going to scream!” Another case of people trying to help but doing more damage than good.
Suggestions of what to say… “I’m sorry you’re having to go through this.” “I will be praying for you.” Then write a card… or send some flowers… or give a gift… or do something that will encourage them in some way. What we think are words of comfort… even though from Scripture… can be ill timed and don’t fit Ephesians 4:29 where it is written…
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
As I understand Scripture, everyting will be “Okay” when Jesus comes back and takes us all to glory. Until then we will have tribulation… but be of good cheer because Jesus has overcome the world.