The human conscience is a God given emotion. It is to our soul what pain sensors are to the body. The conscience is meant to warn against sin and evil. Thus feeling guilty is at some point part of the human experience. God gave everyone a conscience to eschew evil and be drawn to Him.
There are reasons a person feels guilty; 1) They ARE guilty, 2) Their conscience is wrongly informed, 3) They have given in to pressure of others {They have been emotionally manipulated). There are also reasons a person does NOT feel guilty; 1) They aren’t guilty, 2) Their conscience IS Gospel informed, 3) Their conscience is dead. NOTE: Just because a person does not feel guilty does NOT mean they are not guilty of sin.
Everyone, without exclusion, is born with a conscience, a knowledge of right and wrong, as written in Romans 2:14-16…
When Gentiles, who do not have the law, by nature do what the law requires, they are a law to themselves, even though they do not have the law. They show that the work of the law is written on their hearts, while their conscience also bears witness, and their conflicting thoughts accuse or even excuse them on that day when, according to my gospel, God judges the secrets of men by Christ Jesus.
If/when a person ignores their conscience when it rightly warns them of committing sin, they are in danger of it being killed. It is possible for a person to override their their conscience… to their own demise. This is why a person can continually commit adultery, lie, steal, kill, etc… and it not bother them. But when a person’s conscience is informed by The Gospel of Jesus Christ, God cleanses them by his blood and the conscience is healed! Here is how to be freed from a guilty conscience for the day when you stand before God examining every thought, word, and deed you’ve ever had:
1. Confess your sinful unbelief and become a Christian (Required. Non-negotiable).
2. Love the Lord Jesus by keeping His holy commands (John 14:15). God’s commandments are meant to protect you!
3. In all your conduct seek to honor and glorify God (1 Cor 10:31). Righteous living will protect you from sin and therefore a guilty conscience.
4. Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
5. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you (The Golden Rule).
There is another option though… you can ignore God, your conscience will eventually die, then you will stand before God to give an account of your life for eternity.
A great book that talks about all of our emotions and what they tell us about our heart is: The Cry of the Soul: How our Emotions Reveal our Deepest Questions About God by Dan Allender
When your conscience is working just fine and your heart aches for relief from someone who will not let you in and love them, then what? Go on about your business and hope one day that person will let you in? This is a very real THING for me right now.
I know the story that, Well, you’ve done what you should do to make things right and now it’s up to the other person. Ok then, why do I still feel like my heart will break. Why won’t they let me love them! There may be a simple answer but I’ve not found it yet. 🙁
Thank you for your question Peggy. I have a few thoughts.
I’m not sure what you are asking is a matter of your conscience as much as possible a desire of your heart. My post is a little nuanced regarding the issue. However…
First, I’d make it a matter of prayer from Pr 3:5, Phil 4:6-7, and 1 Pet 5:6-7. Our own heart is deceitful & difficult to understand (http://biblia.com/bible/esv/Je17.9), thus part of my prayer is for God to protect me from my misinformed prayer requests (See Ro 8:26-27).
I am careful not to assume omniscience in anything (That I AM all knowing). If the person won’t “let you in” to love them, then it is their choice. Keep making it a matter of prayer for God’s will to be done trusting He is in control and WILL do what is ultimately best for you. He WILL do it every time!
Blessings